The main outcome of my recent investigations into the magical current of Nazism had been the charge to do my fair bit to help the German land recover from this baneful blow. Whatever it will be worth - as a magician I have a contribution to make to rebuilding the inner landscapes - just as the outer have been rebuilt by my grandparent's generation decades ago. While the latter job has been completed the former has only just begun.
So yesterday my friend Signum- with whom I am also working together through the Arbatel rituals in parallel - embarked on our first joint journey into the inner realm. Our goal were severals at once:
- First of all we had to start gaining experience how to travel in vision together as none of us had ever practiced magic with others but we have both been solitary practitioners for more than a decade. Clearly there were many habits to 'unlearn' and new ones to be built.
- Secondly we needed good advise. I guess whenever we play a very small part in a very large process it's smart to assume others know better than we do ourselves? So instead of trying to figure out ourselves how to start the journey of healing the land we needed people smarter than us to show us. Well, not exactly people but inner contacts in this case.
- Finally, this journey needed to be fun - and give more back in return than we invest. We both had learned that when we embark on a new endeavour that's supposed to last longer than a weekend trip it's good to manage our energy in a healthy way. With both of us having demanding day jobs like many, relationships to build and maintain and the desire to personally grow this work needed to be as much support to ourselves as it would be service to others or the land. For me this isn't expression of our selfishness or lack of commitment but sense of realism to keep things in balance over a longer period.
1) Getting Started
The first thing we discussed when Signum arrived for a late breakfast was how we would actually coordinate our actions on the inner realms? Until now we both would have read Josephine McCarthy's instructions in the Magical Knowledge Series and then walked along the prescribed paths in our own journeys. Now we needed to stay aligned and in touch while both traveling alongside each other. We listened to the audio files on Josephine's webpage. They clearly make great learning tools for beginners like ourselves.
Yet at the same time we realized that the instructions frequently change levels of consciousness. I.e. the narrator voice shifts between actual experiences on the inner realm and interpretations or insights that go with it. For example it would say that you see an inner contact and describe its appearance. Yet, then it would go on to explain what you would feel and realize on encountering this spirit. While the former was what we needed to stay aligned, we both felt the latter should remain unspoken and to our own observation only until we discuss the experience afterwards.
Thus we decided for a slightly different approach. We discussed and laid out the map of the journey we would travel together. Each stage had to be aligned and agreed on beforehand. Josephine kindly had shared the path to the Inner Library and this is where we needed to travel. Once this path was clear for both of us we agreed on reducing our verbal comments to the absolute minimum. The only things we needed to say were the things to stay in touch with each other - no interpretations or sharing of how we felt about the things we encountered. Our rule of thumb turned out to stick to the facts, shut up and just make sure we don't get lost.
We had prepared a room in my house for the operation as my main temple was reserved for ritual magic and would have been too cold to operate in it for long periods without physical motion. The layout was very simple: a wodden circle of the art on the floorboards to mark out the four quarters. A candle in each quarter to open access to the Void as well as a fifth candle between us in the centre. We would face each other sitting in half lotus, his back to the south, mine to the north. We would light the candle jointly and open access to the Void, then meditate in silence for about 15min and then start the journey. No comments about what we saw except for the basics to stay aligned.
2) Learning to travel together
When we had lit the candles I settled in my meditation position. It was an exciting moment - and at the same time deeply irritating to have someone sitting opposite to me while entering the Void. I entered meditation and allowed the central flame to eat away all features of the environment. For a moment I was completely entrenched in emptiness and space expanding into infinity around me. Then I realized the spirit of Signum emerging from the other side of the candle... After a while I had clear vision of his body: he had the shape of a human yet his body was translucent and covered with a skin of fire. At the place of his heart a blue glow was shining out from the flames. His face was covered in fire as well; only his bright eyes were clearly visible. They looked completely awake, yet naive and deeply powerful all at the same time.
After the vision we learned that at this point we also both realized something different. In addition to ourselves our guardian angels had entered with us into the Void. From both of our perspectives they levitated in huge geometrical shapes behind our backs. Mine was a white shining orb of approximately five to six meters in diameter. His was a double tetrahedron rotating around strange axis in huge pace and shape. Emerging from the central flame was a string of light that connected through both of our bodies and into the realms of our higher selves. We both felt deeply relaxed and trusting, our angels taking away any pressure from us to control or consciously frame of what we would experience... Then the flame dropped into a black shaft and we jumped in after it.
I won't bother you with all the details of the journey to the library. However, I will share what we learned about the things that stood out for both of us while traveling together:
- The flow of power was completely different from traveling on our own. Where normally focussing your percepetion of details of the inner realms can take constant adjustment and consciousness in this case everything happened almost effortless. Both of our visions had never been so clear and precise before.
- The feeling of safety and trust next to each other in the inner realm was overwhelming. We both mentioned afterwards that the pure presence of each other was deeply reinsuring. The words we both used were that the other felt like a leader or older brother throughout the journey.
- Standing on the Bridge of Death with another person was one of the most intimate experiences we both ever had - and certainly with another man. At this point of the journey all aspects of our egos had been taken away and we were standing next to each other in pure spirit presence. I have to say, the only emotion I know like it is love.
On entering the Inner Library we were greeted by two contacts. Signum realized them first; it seemed as if they had been waiting for us. Mine was a woman whose body was glowing and consisted of nothing but weightless, moving, golden hair. I had to repeat my question to her and speak directly into her body at the height of her heart. Then she guided me to a shelve filled with large, dark books. She took one volume out and we sat down. She laid her golden tentacles on top of the closed cover. I followed and placed my hands next to hers. Immediately a light emerged from the book, it ascended like a water-jet and started to shape a glowing orb grwoing above us. She mentioned that the secret was to bring this power to life through singing. We both started to sing and our bodies started to rotate around the book. The glowing orb swelled up with light and power and branched out into a million filigree offshoots. It was amazing to see. As I couldn't hear the melody of our voices I asked the contact for the words to sing when I was one my own. She gave me the precise words and we continued to sing. Then suddenly the orb exploded. It was an explosion of light. Glowing golden pollen were set free and carried in a huge wave out into all directions of the library... I now realized that the force kept in the book and the nature of the contact were one. I asked her for her name and she answered. I knew I had been given a key to the spark of life that is sealed within all matter.
Signum had been taken into another room by his contact. His perception is different to mine and he concentrates much more on emotional than visual impulses. His contact wore an old-fashioned suit that was adorned with plates as if taken from an ancient armor. He lead Signum down into a huge library room with a large basin in its middle. The contact handed over a book to him. On opening the book branches started to grow out from the empty pages. They grew quickly, fell heavy to the floor like the solid roots of a tree and started to enwind Signum feet. The branches pierced through his body and filled his inner self with increasing life forces. Then he was pointed to walk to the basin and drink from it. That's what he did. And on drinking the water a huge wave of energy collapsed on him. He later said he had never felt the raw essence of life to such an extent. It was the ability to change, to adopt, to carry the seed of life safely through any perceived obstacles that had been given to him.
We met again at the exit of the library and returned home. On our way out we both were exhilarated yet completely silent. It was only afterwards that we realized how similar our inner perceptions and emotions had been. Without mentioning it we even had the same cognition of the layout of the library and the places we both had been led to.
3) Understanding the gifts
Once we had returned safely we took notes about our experiences, returned to the kitchen and started to share what we had seen. Aside from the interesting discoveries about the synchronicity of our perceptions the most startling finding was that the keys or gifts we had received were so perfectly matched to the question that we had asked: what is the first step for us towards healing the land.
He had received the gift to work with water as the agent of change. I had received the key to bring to life what was kept within the elements as sleeping seeds. Clearly these gifts weren't anything like personal skills that we had aquired. We were still the same, except for an inner connection we had made to an actual living being. It was this contact who was capable of handling and applying the respective powers through us. Our job was to become a medium of these forces. To be the delivery boys if you want of a force that needed first assembly and then release on the physical plain...
Thus we agreed on the next steps: We had to go out into nature and work with water and seeds. We would need to find a pure remote river, fill it into silver flasks as Signum' contact had pointed out and allow this force to clean the water. Then we would need to sit down and sing the words I had been given over each flask of water. This would bring the two forces we had been pointed to together and ensure that what we have is both an agent and a seed of life united in one container.
The final step would be to bring these flasks to where they belong. To give them to our friends and ask them to pour them out in their kitchen sinks, in their toilets, in their front yards. To go out into the fields and pour them out over the depleted soil and concrete roads. To take them with us on planes over Germany and pour them out in chemical toilets. To take them with us to wherever this land needed healing - and then listen closely to what it has to say in return.
Most of all we needed to stay completely focussed and just do as we had been told: Keep the process raw and simply and easy. Take the water into silver flasks, sing the words into them, fill them up with the vibrating spirits that needed to come through. Then be the carrier and bring them out to where they are needed... Martin Buber once said: 'Don't look at yourself, look at the world around you.' I guess that's exactly what the lady made of golden hair and the man in the armour suit need from us.
One final note. This work is getting increasingly intense and intimate for both us. We discussed what to share and what to keep to ourselves. Ultimately we decided to remain silent about anything we were given from the contacts that could compromise the project, e.g. their names and the words and keys they gave to us. However, even sharing the above might come with some risks. We still decided to do so as we hope this work might inspire other magicians to explore their own ways of healing the land.
At the end of the day this work needs to significantly scale beyond our own efforts if we truly are to make a difference. Just consider how many 'Trümmerfrauen' it took to rebuild Germany after the war? In a way our work is nothing different from theirs. And while we don't know the journey we will be on in months or years from now, we deeply believe that the time is right to share.
:: continue reading Part 2 ::