What keeps our 'True Will' buried?
Since a couple of days I am working on the fourth part of the Everyday Path to your Holy Guardian Angel*. In this phase it will be all about Realization*. None of the five phases are more important than the other. Yet, as we advance on the path things become more occult in comparison to what most people would call their everyday lives... While gaining more Trust and Joy in life can be meaningful exercises for almost anybody - it's only once we emerge ourselves into Darkness that the magical aspect of this journey comes fully to the fore. And once we emerge from it back into daylight, I guess that is when the magic really starts. And that is also why writing about Realization isn't easy...
Actually, there is one particular aspect of this phase that takes most effort to condense and summarize. And this is how to still the cravings of your body and mind so thoroughly that you can start hearing your 'True Will'. Clearly this is a topic that has attracted much attention by many authors and practitioners over the last century. However, in many cases - at least in my humble opinion - this concept has been simply abused to justify behaviours or magical practices that lie outside of the boundaries of our social norms: May these be sexual practices, blood rites, pacts or simple acts of egotism. Actually none of these need justification by any spiritual principle. If you think this is what you need to do just go and do it, I suggest?
What gaining access to our True Will really comes with is a busload of personal responsibility. Responsibility to dig below motivations initiated by our Ego. Thus working to clear the way towards your True Will comes with many exercises in overcoming what's keeping it buried today...
"Everyone must find their own way in(to the mysteries, ed. Acher), and the only valid admission fee is the right amount of effort directed in the right manner at the correct instant and point. Once all the wards of the lock line up properly with each other, and the Key is turned the Door of the Innerworld will open." (W.G.Gray)
So it seems the only thing any author can do to help is clarifying how we can 'directed our effort in the right manner at the right point'? Well, let's talk a bit about our True Will then. And I guess it's only fair to start explaining why we are not in touch with it naturally - but have to walk all this way to re-discover it.
I will try to make this as simple and straight forward as possible:
Fig.1: We don't hear our True Will as it is buried underneath two basic motivational aspects we all carry inside us and that tend to dominate our consciousness: fear and greed.
Fig.2: Still, our True Will is sending impulses that are directed towards and have an intended impact on our Consciousness all the time.
Fig.3: However, any impulse initiated by our True Will get's distorted by these layers of fear and greed - just like light gets distorted when passing through clouded crystals. What was intended to come to perception by our True Will get's disfigured by the two main functions of our Ego.
Fig.4/5: Were our minds less clouded by fear and greed our True Will could talk to us without any effort or distortion. It is important to call out that both fear and greed still exist in a mind-less-clouded - but they have now become visible in their own rights rather than being just layers on top of our buried True Will.
Well, so how do we get there? How do we still our fears and greed so the impulse of our True Will can pass through them - just like the Initiate passes through the portal of the Mysteries? I guess following the first three steps of the Everyday Path will lay a good fundament for this type of work. The fourth part I am currently working on will add further Exercises in Realization. Hopefully this will be helpful you on your path.
The one point that is absolutely clear, however, already is this one: if our fear and greed keep our True Will buried - just like layers of tar-coat cover a crystal - then we best start by cleaning up the entire mess... To start off we have to spend more time with our fear and greed not less. Just like when humans try to tame wild animals it will be a process of mutual giving and taking. A process of building trust by gaining proof that the unknown opponent is less dangerous than they might seem. A process of continous convergence.
Below is a small animation I put together to illustrate this process in more detail. Obviously it's just diagrams, arrows and text boxes moving around... The real job is to identify the equivalent dynamics within ourselves. But once we do and resolve them a lot of progress can be achieved. Once we Realize a life in which our intent doesn't get distorted by fear or greed anymore, it is only a small step towards communion with our Holy Guardian Angel. At this point the last veil will be about nothing but applying the right techniques indeed.
* Update 2019: since the publication of this blog post in 2012, this material has been expanded and published in the HolyDaimon book, by Scarlet Imprint 2019.